Lies we tell our children

As a baby, Joanna was told that burps helped to pay for our gas bills, and that any milk she sicked up was dried and became baby formula.  There are many times we lie to our kids to either protect them, or get them to do stuff we want them to.  I (and very occasionally Mark) will let them win at games, to boost their confidence.  I'll often let them win the race to the next lamppost when we are walking home from school, but that is mainly me not wanting to run.

Here are a couples of fictions that we have recently subjected out children to:

Last week John was having a little paddy about the frube (yogurt) he was eating.  Apparently it was a girl's frube, as the picture was too girly.  Joanna was making hay, teasing John " John's a girlie, he's eating girlie yogurt". Now to a 4 year old boy this is a BIG THING.  Mark then had to explain that a mistake had been made in the factory, as happens from time to time, and it was a boy's frube, but had the wrong packaging out around it.  John sat there for a few moments, concentrating hard on what Mark had said, decided it made sense and happily finished his frube.  I managed to keep a straight face until I caught Mark's eye, and dissolved into giggles.  The kids were so confused about why I was laughing, so I said Mark had pulled a silly face.  Cue mark being asked to show the silly face to see if it was funny enough.

On a different food related occasion, Daniel, Joanna and Mark were in our bedroom playing. Joanna left without Daniel noticing. Then Daniel notices that Joanna is no longer around.
Daniel: "Where Daja"
Mark:"I ate her, listen to my tummy"
Daniel leans over to listen to Mark's tummy.
Mark, in his best girly voice "help, let me out. I'm stuck in Daddy's tummy"
Daniel looks at Mark with a very serious and worried expression "Don't eat me Daddy"
When they come downstairs a few moment later, Daniel looked  mightily relieved and very pleased to see Joanna.

Add to the comments to tell me the lies you have told your kids ;)